Thursday, July 24, 2014

Dealing with Autism and my miracle of a child.

I have heard some horror stories of parenting a child with Autism.  It got me thinking I do not nearly talk about it as much as I should on my blog.  Here is a a little about our life with it.  I think everyone should know what a little miracle I have.

When my son Timmy was 6mts I kept waking up out of no where and checked on him and he was not breathing.  Obviously it was not a long time because he was normal color and everything and he would start back up breathing.  It went on for a while.  I kept taking him to doctor after doctor and telling them this.  I was a nervous wreck and they acted like I was going nuts.  Finally after months a we got the head doctor that saw me and my sister when we where kids.  He listened to me.  He sent me home with a nurse to set up my sons test to see if he was not breathing.  Sure enough that very night the test went off beeping. That ment that he was going through non breathing moments.  When we saw the doctor again he verified that my son was not breathing and needed the apnea machine more often so I can hear it when he stops breathing.  So we were told our son has breathing apnea.  I thought that was just for people overweight like me and not my baby. Then at 9mts the machine went off and it kept beeping. I jumped out of bed and ran to my son to check if it just came loose.  It wasn't loose.  He was still not breathing. Luckily I took infant cpr before he was born.  It only took one puff to get him breathing again. It did not happen again but it nearly killed me.  He was hospitalized for one night why they tested him.  After that no more apnea.  They found out he was allergic to milk and put him a alternative which I did not like but I did not know much about organics back then so I let them.

My son progressed normally for a boy until almost 2.  He stopped talking and his attention span went to 0.  No toys or anything.  He would not play with them. I bought him a lot thinking I was just not buying him the right toys. At that time I had no idea what Autism was or that it really existed. I went to doctor to doctor and they could not tell me what is wrong. They told me it was not Autism because he can look you in the eye. He only looked at you for a second and wouldn't do it again.  He had the fraying and water obsession, and more.  I heard my nephew in law had Autism so I researched it.  I even had him see a gene specialist to see what was going on.  They did say he had abnormal chromosome that I had but I was not special needs so it wasn't that.   I thought it would be my husband since he is partially learning disabled.  They said no.  Hey these are the top of there field right, They had to be right and me wrong.  Each day I new deep down he had Autism but doubted myself.

They decided at 4 to put him and early child education.  Early Childhood education was another nightmare.  They tested him and said mom really knows her kid because their test said exactly what my forms I filled out said.  They too Just thought he had a learning issue and not Autism.  He loved school at first.  He was excited.  He was saying one word phrases by then.  Then after school started he stopped talking at all.  He came home exhausted and suddenly obsessed with his belly button and parts.  I was told that was normal for boys and it will pass and just not to embarrass him. My thought was really? At 4?  One day my mom came with me to drop my son off at school and he cried and did not want her to leave.  I thought this is normal for kids to not want to go to school.  We left that day and picked him up and he was fine.  The next morning I dropped him off at school and he did the same to me but even more terrified.  He seemed really scared.  I thought once you put them in school they have to stay there. I was stupid.  I said mommy will stay for a minute and get you to calm down.  The teacher said" Actually no.  We need you to leave it is better for him and maybe you should start putting him on the buss.  Oh and I do not think it is a good Idea that grandma brings him anymore because he would not calm down yesterday."  I left but I felt sick.  Something was not right.   All day felt wrong and finally it was time to pick him up from school.  He acted sick.  He was just not himself.  I was scared.  About an hour later I realized he had a fresh wound on his back.   It was like a skid mark at least a 50 cent piece in size.   He was also running a fever. (I forgot to mention I called the school board when I was waiting to pick him up and because I felt something was really bad or off.  They said I do not have to send him to school at 4 because it is only an elective thing at that age.  )  Things started clicking and found out my son was running a fever.  We went to the children's er.  They asked if he hit his head.  I said I do not know and that he got the wound at school.  He asked me to call the school and check.  I called his teacher and asked her about the wound.  She said she had no idea how he got it and nothing happened as far as she knew.  Well I told her we where at the doctor and he wanted to know and her response was "I have so many kids I do not know what happens all the time. "  Ok, That was enough.  She was very angry and hysterical.  She started saying "what are you accusing me of? "  I told her I was not accuse her of anything but Timmy was not returning to her class room.  I had it. I was going to try my hand at homeschooling.   Life continued and after a month of homeschooling he started talking again and more than ever!

A year later.  My son told me one day out of the blue "Mommy, I did not like school."  I said I know baby.  he then said "The kids hurt me." Boom.  Everything made sense.  They did get a new girl student much smaller than my son. I remember meeting her but she was hitting one of the teacher aids.  My son later on when he found more words that a few kids in the class hit him and knocked him down.  I finally thought that was it.  That is why my son hated school.  Really, I still had no idea.

   I cry nightly still over this.What I found out about what happened to him in school and it was not just the kids.  It was a male parent that took him to the bathroom.  It kills me but I don't let him know. 

This is some of my story and now my son is now 12 and obsessed with electronics.  His food and schooling is more important but I know he learns on electronics better so that is why I ask for donations for him for an Ipad.  He was signed up by a family friend for make a wish but they said Autism does not kill him so they could not help us with his dream to go to Disney. . I do not expect one person to donate enough for either so I appreciate every bit.  No one has helped yet and we still could use the help.  We live off my husbands social security because I waited to long to apply when I was injured.  They say my husband makes too much for them to assist us.  really? 1200 for three people?  Our rent takes almost all of it and bills take the rest. :( I do enter quite a bit of contest to earn us what I can not buy.  He needs clothes and stuff and we all only buy second hand to save.  We do without luxuries like cable or anything nice like that.   There is nothing I would not do for my son.

My paralegal mentioned that we would make more money if I divorced my husband and still lived with him.  Or if we where to split and live with someone else.  Sorry I will not do this.  I am honest.  I will not be a person who has kids just for a check.  
Well I bared a lot today.  I just felt the need too. Sorry, Love Jo

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Joanne Smith

Joanne Smith
Joanne Smith

About Mom In Nebraska

Joanne Smith is the head blogger for Mom In Nebraska. She currently resides in Omaha, NE. with her family. She has a wonderful miracle *her Autistic son Timmy that loves electronics.* Joanne has worked in customer service her whole life and loves it. She worked hard in College and studied a wide variety of subjects from Biology, Chem, Web Design, Early Childhood Education and much more. Now she is a SAHM, Blogger and Homeschooler. Next task for Joanne is trying to take over the world..... or at least her little part of it.